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Elite Member
Group: Moderators
Last Login: 4/15/2009 10:48 AM
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1. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
through
18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will
swim by, you might live in Michigan.
2. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96
nights
each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you
might live in Michigan.
3. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
you
might live in Michigan.
4. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of
the
year, you might live in Michigan.
5. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work
there, you might live in
Michigan.
6. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle
of
his forehead, you might live in Michigan.
7. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might
live in Michigan.
8. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might
live in Michigan.
9. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
who
dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.
Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANDER when . . .
1. 'Vacation' means going up north on I-75
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without
flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
both
unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows
how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter
and
road construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next
to
your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Ohio.
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor
throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find 0 degrees 'a little chilly.'
22. You drink pop and bake with soda.
23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not
medicine.
24. You can actually drink Vernors without coughing.
25. You know what a Yooper is.
26. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.
27. You know that UP is a place, not a direction.
28. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.
29. You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to
wear is a Kevlar vest.
30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to
all your
Michigan friends.
Located In Rockford Michigan
Hand fed baby Lovebirds and cockatiels
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A.K.A - Steven
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/26/2008 1:03 PM
Posts: 66,
Visits: 69
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Okay, well, it is new years eve and I had a few drinks, I better wait to reply.... 
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Administrator
Group: Administrators
Last Login: 3/5/2010 1:15 PM
Posts: 274,
Visits: 764
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| These are perfect!!! Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANDER when . . .
1. 'Vacation' means going up north on I-75
2. You measure distance in hours. I went on a trip to the U.P. and we measured the trip in hours from place to place! We said "It will take 2 U.P. hours to get to so and so" because it seem like forever at times because of the long roads with nothing but trees. Really, this was a nice change of pace then the traffic jamed streets of Canton, Livonia, and other areas where I live. It is a zoo on the weekends around here even more so than during rush hour.
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Administrator
Group: Administrators
Last Login: 3/5/2010 1:15 PM
Posts: 274,
Visits: 764
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Okay, old joke but kids (young teens or pre teens) like it.
How to catch an elephant.
Do you know there is a proven way to catch an elephant with a pile of ashes and a can of peas?
What you do it take a huge mound of ash from a camp file and pile it up. Then open up a couple of cans of peas. Take the peas and make a circle around the pile of ash.
Once this is done, sit back and wait. . .Soon you will see an elephant in the area. Once you see the elephant walk up to take a pea sneak up behind him and kick him in the ash.  Yea, I know, really bad joke. 
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Elite Member
Group: Moderators
Last Login: 4/15/2009 10:48 AM
Posts: 472,
Visits: 276
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LMAO yeah boo to that i one but every so often it is funny ...
Located In Rockford Michigan
Hand fed baby Lovebirds and cockatiels
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Elite Member
Group: Moderators
Last Login: 4/15/2009 10:48 AM
Posts: 472,
Visits: 276
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Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008 *
*Number 10 *
Life is sexually transmitted.
*Number 9 *
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
*Number 8 *
deleted as it was to adult ..Just make hubby a nice cold drink and call it good, lol
*Number 7 *
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the
internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.
*Number 6 *
Some people are like a Slinky ....
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you
shove them down the stairs.
*Number 5 *
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
*Number 4 *
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
*Number 3 *
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves
you $30.00?
*Number 2 *
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
*And The Number 1 Thought For 2008:*
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow disease is located among millions
and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where
millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should
put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration?
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers.
What you do today, might burn your bum tomorrow"
Located In Rockford Michigan
Hand fed baby Lovebirds and cockatiels
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Elite Member
Group: Moderators
Last Login: 4/15/2009 10:48 AM
Posts: 472,
Visits: 276
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9 Months Later...
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said."We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?" "Yes, I do." saidBob
"Did you, er, happen to getup in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes !," Bob said,a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet redand he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... you know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!
Located In Rockford Michigan
Hand fed baby Lovebirds and cockatiels
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A.K.A - Steven
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/26/2008 1:03 PM
Posts: 66,
Visits: 69
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| HA! Good one.... I guess stealing an identity can work out after all!!!!
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A.K.A - Steven
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/26/2008 1:03 PM
Posts: 66,
Visits: 69
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Funny Airline Comments
Sometimes, the crew of airliners make an effort to be a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1...On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, Ladies and Gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
2...On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you are going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
3..."Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
4...As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
5...A flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as he*l everything has shifted."
6...From a Southwest Airlines employee...."Welcome aboard Southwest
Flight 859 to Los Angeles. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
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Elite Member
Group: Moderators
Last Login: 4/15/2009 10:48 AM
Posts: 472,
Visits: 276
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LOL I like the number two..Good one Yoda
Located In Rockford Michigan
Hand fed baby Lovebirds and cockatiels
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